Questions conservative nabobs should have about social security privatization

Do I really want "big government" forcing me to invest in the stock market? Shouldn't that be my free choice? Why does the government have to invest my money for me? Why make social security worse than it already is? Why do I need another "big government program" to manage "my money"?
Won't this "big government program" make the deficit worse? Is that fiscally conservative? Isn't this "big government program" going to risk the "security" part of social security? It seems too risky. At least social security guarantees a benefit. Why not make sure the program is fiscally sound before adding a new, expensive, risky component to it?
Why are we privatizing just a part of social security? Why not privatize it all? And if we want total privatization, then why have social security? In our brave new free republic, let freedom ring, let it be every man for himself, dog eat dog, man on dog (bulldogs on top)....
OK, I'll stop now. I don't see how this idea can make any sense, even to the sporadically thoughtful conservative. It is what we call in liberal fifth columnist covens "a dumb idea." Maybe on that, everyone can come together.